Today Brian has been in Heaven for a month. It seems unreal. Some days it seems like yesterday and then other days it feels like a year ago. Today was harder than I expected, but with a lot of tears and prayers... I got through it!
This has definitely been the hardest month of my life. I have cried more tears than I thought was humanly possible. The nights and mornings are the hardest. I don't want to go to sleep because I know he won't be here by me when I wake up. Then I just have to relive the hurt every morning. I know it will become more bearable but right now it is just hard! Oh how I miss him...
I know that Brian is in Heaven telling me to be strong and not to cry! It gives me comfort thinking about him watching over me! I also know that since there is no time in Heaven, Brian is not missing me because in the blink of an eye I will be there with him! I am so thankful he does not feel the pain of missing me! Last night I read the book "Heaven is a Real Place." It is a story about little boy who went to Heaven and came back. Reading his story was reassuring that Brian is having the time of his life with Jesus. What a wonderful place Heaven must be!
Please continue to keep me and both our families in your prayers! I just keep trusting in Jesus that He is taking care of me! I can remember talking with Brian soooo many times about how God was his strength. He could not imagine how anyone could go through brain cancer without faith. Well now I am thinking the same thing about losing my love. I do not know how anyone could go through this without the love of Jesus and the faith that I will be with Brian for eternity!
Matthew 5:4
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
peace and love
Shea
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