You can writes for us too and earn up to £70. Your stories, jokes and messages are really important to us and you could win money from them. Every month we publish the best stories, jokes and other exciting materials in our magazine. Find out how you can win money and appear in our magazine below.
Have your say
We want to hear what you have to say! All published entries win £30 and the star entry wins £50.
True stories
Win £70 for your true, funny stories like the story below that appeared in the March edition of our magazine.
Watching synchronized diving for the first time on TV, my seven year old son exclaimed, "Wow! That was close. Who won?" Theresa Carstairs
Laughter is the best medicine
Win £70 for your jokes like the joke below that appeared in the April edition of our magazine.
I was showing my mum the iPad. "Look you can read books on it," I said. And she licked her finger to turn the page.
Contact Information:
For submissions: click here
Website: http://www.readersdigest.co.uk/
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Paying market, FunnyTimes.com, pays $60 per story
We are always looking to expose our readers.... to hilarious new material. Everything we publish is funny, so please don't send in something that isn't. We only publish cartoons and funny stories. Cartoons should be "scannable" (good quality photocopies are fine) and stories should be about 500-700 words.
There is no limit to our scope and we cover just about everything that can be funny including politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion, seasonal events and everything else relating to the general human condition. Since we carry no advertising we don't have an editorial calendar, but we have a lead-time of several months, e.g., December holiday material should be mailed for consideration in September. We only buy one-time reproduction rights and do not require exclusives; all other rights stay with the copyright holder. We pay $25-40 for cartoons based on reproduced size and $60 for stories. We pay upon publication. In addition to being paid, we also provide our published contributors with a complimentary Funny Times subscription and will swap website links.
Submissions should be mailed to:
THE FUNNY TIMES
C/O THE EDITORS
P.O. BOX 18530
CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH 44118
All submissions should include a SASE so you can get your material back and will know if, dare we say it, your material is "rejected." We do not accept faxed or e-mailed submissions. Given the volume of unsolicited submissions we receive, it may take us several months to get to them, so please be patient.
HINTS: Don't overwhelm the editors. Pick 5-10 of your favorites just to get us interested and we'll contact you if we want more. In your cover letter, please tell us where you've been published because it lets us know who else thinks you're funny (this will not necessarily be held against you). Also, don't give up if we mail your packet back, several of our contributors mailed stuff to us for months before we found something we liked or before we learned to appreciate their perspective.
Contact Information:
For inquiries: info@funnytimes.com
For submissions: THE FUNNY TIMES, C/O THE EDITORS, P.O. BOX 18530, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH 44118
Website: http://www.funnytimes.com
There is no limit to our scope and we cover just about everything that can be funny including politics, news, relationships, food, technology, pets, work, death, environmental issues, business, religion, seasonal events and everything else relating to the general human condition. Since we carry no advertising we don't have an editorial calendar, but we have a lead-time of several months, e.g., December holiday material should be mailed for consideration in September. We only buy one-time reproduction rights and do not require exclusives; all other rights stay with the copyright holder. We pay $25-40 for cartoons based on reproduced size and $60 for stories. We pay upon publication. In addition to being paid, we also provide our published contributors with a complimentary Funny Times subscription and will swap website links.
Submissions should be mailed to:
THE FUNNY TIMES
C/O THE EDITORS
P.O. BOX 18530
CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH 44118
All submissions should include a SASE so you can get your material back and will know if, dare we say it, your material is "rejected." We do not accept faxed or e-mailed submissions. Given the volume of unsolicited submissions we receive, it may take us several months to get to them, so please be patient.
HINTS: Don't overwhelm the editors. Pick 5-10 of your favorites just to get us interested and we'll contact you if we want more. In your cover letter, please tell us where you've been published because it lets us know who else thinks you're funny (this will not necessarily be held against you). Also, don't give up if we mail your packet back, several of our contributors mailed stuff to us for months before we found something we liked or before we learned to appreciate their perspective.
Contact Information:
For inquiries: info@funnytimes.com
For submissions: THE FUNNY TIMES, C/O THE EDITORS, P.O. BOX 18530, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OH 44118
Website: http://www.funnytimes.com
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Free contest, Reader's Digest's Humor on the Front Contest, prize: $1,000 (USA)
Deadline: 15 May 2011
Humor on the Front Contest
Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes want you! We’ve linked up with the armed forces’ favorite independent news source to look for laughs from the front line. If you are now serving—or have ever served—in the armed forces, tell us your funny stories from your days sweating at boot camp, being stuck at sea, toiling away on KP duty—whatever. You could win $1,000. Email your stories to frontlines@rd.com
No purchase necessary to enter or win. Open to U.S. citizens 18 and older. Contest begins 11/15/10 and closes 4/15/11. Void where prohibited.
Contest Rules:
Tell us your funniest story about your time in the military. The entry must not be lewd, obscene, sexually explicit, pornographic, disparaging, defamatory, libelous or otherwise inappropriate or objectionable, as determined by the Judges and/or Sponsor in their sole and absolute discretion. The entry must not infringe the copyright, trademark, privacy, publicity or other intellectual property rights of any person or entity. Entries submitted in geographic areas in which the entry is not permissible will be disqualified. All entries become the property of Reader’s Digest and Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes newspaper have the right to use all entries in all print and electronic media, and to edit them for brevity and clarity.
Judging: Editors from Reader’s Digest Magazine and Stars and Stripes will select the best anecdote based on the following criteria: Humor 50%, Uniqueness 20%, Writing style 15% and Universality of appeal 15%. All entries will be judged using the criteria stated above. Judges decisions are final.
Prize: One winner will receive $1,000 and his/her anecdote will be published in the Reader’s Digest Magazine and in Stars and Stripes newspaper and/or any of the websites operated by sponsor and/or Stars and Stripes. All taxes, if any, as a result of winning this contest are the winner’s responsibility. Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes will not be responsible for any loss, liability or damage arising out of the Winner’s acceptance or use of the prize. Prize is guaranteed to be awarded. The Winner will be required to execute an affidavit of eligibility, and media use release and produce proof of military service within two (2) weeks from the date of the notification letter or an alternate winner may be selected.
Use of other entries: Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes will also select several of the entries, between five (5) and fifty (50) which will be published in Reader’s Digest Magazine and in Stars and Stripes. Reader’s Digest will pay the selected Entrants the usual fee for such submissions and Entrants will be expected to sign all necessary documentation.
More information here.
Humor on the Front Contest
Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes want you! We’ve linked up with the armed forces’ favorite independent news source to look for laughs from the front line. If you are now serving—or have ever served—in the armed forces, tell us your funny stories from your days sweating at boot camp, being stuck at sea, toiling away on KP duty—whatever. You could win $1,000. Email your stories to frontlines@rd.com
No purchase necessary to enter or win. Open to U.S. citizens 18 and older. Contest begins 11/15/10 and closes 4/15/11. Void where prohibited.
Contest Rules:
Tell us your funniest story about your time in the military. The entry must not be lewd, obscene, sexually explicit, pornographic, disparaging, defamatory, libelous or otherwise inappropriate or objectionable, as determined by the Judges and/or Sponsor in their sole and absolute discretion. The entry must not infringe the copyright, trademark, privacy, publicity or other intellectual property rights of any person or entity. Entries submitted in geographic areas in which the entry is not permissible will be disqualified. All entries become the property of Reader’s Digest and Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes newspaper have the right to use all entries in all print and electronic media, and to edit them for brevity and clarity.
Judging: Editors from Reader’s Digest Magazine and Stars and Stripes will select the best anecdote based on the following criteria: Humor 50%, Uniqueness 20%, Writing style 15% and Universality of appeal 15%. All entries will be judged using the criteria stated above. Judges decisions are final.
Prize: One winner will receive $1,000 and his/her anecdote will be published in the Reader’s Digest Magazine and in Stars and Stripes newspaper and/or any of the websites operated by sponsor and/or Stars and Stripes. All taxes, if any, as a result of winning this contest are the winner’s responsibility. Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes will not be responsible for any loss, liability or damage arising out of the Winner’s acceptance or use of the prize. Prize is guaranteed to be awarded. The Winner will be required to execute an affidavit of eligibility, and media use release and produce proof of military service within two (2) weeks from the date of the notification letter or an alternate winner may be selected.
Use of other entries: Reader’s Digest and Stars and Stripes will also select several of the entries, between five (5) and fifty (50) which will be published in Reader’s Digest Magazine and in Stars and Stripes. Reader’s Digest will pay the selected Entrants the usual fee for such submissions and Entrants will be expected to sign all necessary documentation.
More information here.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Paying market, Errant Parent, pays $25 per humor piece
The editors at errant parent seek well-written, original, parenting-oriented humor. We are partial to anything offbeat, gritty, sardonic, and clever -- more so than the cutesy and anecdotal. Above all else, the writing we publish must tickle the funny bone. We are open to essays, poetry, parodies, fake news clips, top nine lists, and more. We do not accept photography, art, or videos. For our "confession" section, please keep your submission brief, and let us know what name and town you'd like to include; it CAN be fake!
Please, no attachments! Please, no smart quotes. Please, no double spacing between sentences. ARGH! Paste your submission text into the body of your email and include your name, contact information, and a brief bio. Submissions must be under 2,000 words. Send to: submit@errantparent.com.
We pay $25 (when we can; our tiny budget goes fast) per accepted submission upon publication. If we can't pay, we'll send you a bumper sticker. FANCY!
Also, check in often to see what seasonal contests we're running!
More information here.
Please, no attachments! Please, no smart quotes. Please, no double spacing between sentences. ARGH! Paste your submission text into the body of your email and include your name, contact information, and a brief bio. Submissions must be under 2,000 words. Send to: submit@errantparent.com.
We pay $25 (when we can; our tiny budget goes fast) per accepted submission upon publication. If we can't pay, we'll send you a bumper sticker. FANCY!
Also, check in often to see what seasonal contests we're running!
More information here.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Freelance writing, Reader's Digest, pays $500 for "My Story"/ $50-$250 for anecdotes and jokes (anywhere)
So you want to be a writer...
Send us your joke, anecdote or story, and if we publish it in the magazine, we’ll pay as follows:
My Story $500
Do you have an inspiring, touching or life changing tale to tell? Submissions must be true, unpublished, original and 800-1000 words in length. Click here to read more stories.
Kindness of Strangers Up to $150
True accounts of good karma, inspiring acts of unexpected kindness and generosity, or just something someone did that made your day – or changed your life. Share your moments in 100-500 words. Click here to read more stories.
Anecdotes and Jokes $50-$250
What's made you laugh recently? A funny slogan or sign? A teen's behaviour? Send in your real-life gem for Life!, @Work or As Kids See It, or as a short filler. Got a new joke? Send it in for Laugh!
Submit here.
Send us your joke, anecdote or story, and if we publish it in the magazine, we’ll pay as follows:
My Story $500
Do you have an inspiring, touching or life changing tale to tell? Submissions must be true, unpublished, original and 800-1000 words in length. Click here to read more stories.
Kindness of Strangers Up to $150
True accounts of good karma, inspiring acts of unexpected kindness and generosity, or just something someone did that made your day – or changed your life. Share your moments in 100-500 words. Click here to read more stories.
Anecdotes and Jokes $50-$250
What's made you laugh recently? A funny slogan or sign? A teen's behaviour? Send in your real-life gem for Life!, @Work or As Kids See It, or as a short filler. Got a new joke? Send it in for Laugh!
Submit here.
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